Funny Joke About the Woman Using a Wash Cloth With Glitter Before a Doc Appointment
This is what takes us so long in the bathroom:
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you
usually find a line of women, so you smile politely
and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check
for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is
occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly
knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't
matter, the wait has been so long you are about to
wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat
covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is
handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the
door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so
you carefully, but quickly drape it around your
neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put
it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume
" The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles
begin to shake .You'dlovetositdown,butyou
certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay
toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you
reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet
paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your
mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to
clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no
toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose
on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse.
(Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you
have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at
the same time). That would have to do. You crumple
it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller
than your thumbnail .
Someone pushes your door open because the latch
doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is
hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and
you and your purse topple backward against the tank
of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach
for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled
tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing
altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET
SEAT.
It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too
well that it's too late.
Your bare bottom has made contact with every
imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat
because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that
there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled
if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom
never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly,
dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you
could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of
the toilet is so confused that it flushes,
propelling a stream of water like a fire hose
against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine
mist of water that covers your butt and runs down
your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow
sucks everything down with such force that you grab
onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of
being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the
spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're
exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you
found in your pocket and then slink out
inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with
the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with
spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of
women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A
kind soul at the very end of the line points out a
piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.
(Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the
paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand
and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need
this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since
entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed,
he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your
purse hanging around your neck?"
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with
a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be
kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what
really does take us so long. It also answers their
other commonly asked questions about why women go to
the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can
hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you
Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could
describe it so accurately!
Enjoy
Source: https://allnurses.com/why-women-take-so-long-t170118/
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